What Hazel wants most in the world is to murder human hands. Unfortunately for her, she also doesn’t wish to displease her humans. She is a sweet cat.
So every day, she begs me, meowing so pretty, “Please, may today be the day? May I destroy your hand?”
Her hope is so pure.
Piper explains for the umpteenth time that she’s the Most Important Cat. She doesn’t understand why anyone would struggle to understand this. And yet somehow, her humans still waste attention on cats Other Than Her. The fools.