When I was in 4th grade, I wouldn’t play jump rope with a girl named Jessica. So Jessica complained about me, and I got called in to see the school counselor.
Because I didn’t want to play jump rope.
All my life people have told me I’m wrong for being who I am.
The people who hurt the most though aren’t the ones who think I’m wrong to be the person I am… I can write them off. It’s the people who want to build compromises between me and people whose complaint with me… is that I’m me.
I can’t compromise on being me.
I’ve tried compromising on who I am in order to keep friends. And it has never been worth it.
You can’t make peace between a person and someone who thinks that person is fundamentally wrong just by being themself. And trying to… is hurtful.
The problem is that so often the emotional violence of trying to force a person into being a different person is… subtle. It can be made to look reasonable.
“I just wanted her to play jump rope!”
But playing along with that emotional violence is a form of violence itself.