The Double-Edged Sword of Capability

My kid’s English teacher, who my kid adores, praised their work and talked about holding them to a higher standard because she could see they were capable of so much.

So now every time the kid tries to work on English, they freeze, worried their work won’t be brilliant enough.

After a couple weeks of the kid falling behind in English, I finally lectured them about how unfair and unreasonable their beloved English teacher is being.

Better work shouldn’t be graded more harshly.

I know the English teacher meant well, and this strategy would probably work on some kids. But in this case, the way her praise worked out isn’t so different from a creepy older man telling a teen that she’s “not like all the other girls.”

It made my kid feel special and deeply loyal to the teacher… but it also made them feel like just being themself isn’t good enough.

And my kid is definitely good enough.

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