For years, I’ve blamed myself for being too shy or cowardly, and not trying hard enough to network back when I went to sf/f cons… but DAMN, watching all the threads in sf/f twitter today, that was not my fault. It wasn’t that I was too shy…
I just had an obvious husband with me (who was supportive but not really into sf/f); so as a young woman I was basically invisible to a significant fraction of the men who were setting the tone at social events.
Basically, it was the same deal as college when all my male friends suddenly acted like I didn’t exist anymore as soon as Daniel and I got engaged.
You know the episode of Scrubs where women turn invisible to JD when they put on their wedding rings? Yeah. That.
Somehow, I thought sf/f cons were different than the boys in college or a gimmicky episode of Scrubs… Guess not.
I have blamed myself for that failure for… fifteen years. It’s become a part of how I see myself, and now, I’m realizing it wasn’t me at all.