We make ourselves out of the things we encounter in this world. We make our bodies out of the food we eat, and we make our minds out of the things we see and hear.
And at this point, I think most of me is made out of DS9. I stored it up and held onto as much of it as I could, and I’ve been using it to patch myself up and build new parts for so long… it’s most of me now.
And I’ve always had someone I needed to show it to, ever since before I understood what it meant for something to truly end. And because I didn’t know yet what it meant for something to truly end, it hadn’t ended for me. And then, it stayed alive because it was new in my husband’s eyes, and I had to make sure he saw it. And then, we knew we would have kids, so I knew I would have to show it to them. And that went on for years. It went on so long that I rewatched it by myself while I was waiting for them to be old enough to appreciate it.
But then, three years ago, it was time. And we watched a couple a night, and we went long stretches busy watching something else… but we watched it. We watched all of it. And now…
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to be. It’s been real for me for so long, and I don’t know who I am here, on the other side of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.