Author: marylowd

Losing RvW

I’ve turned away family and fans over the years for not supporting my right to bodily autonomy. I don’t think I’ve turned away any friends… because honestly, I just won’t be friends with people who aren’t pro-choice.

This was my personal line in the sand, and my body doesn’t know how to contain the knowledge that Roe will be overturned. I may have known it was coming, and there may be so many other bad things… but I didn’t how know much I didn’t, couldn’t believe in reaching this.

It feels like my own organs are trying to force this knowledge out of my body. My stomach is so tense and leaping so hard, it feels like it’s trying to escape my body and ride off to war.

But my stomach can’t change this.

Having a body that’s physically designed to betray you by picking up unwanted parasites is bad enough.

Knowing that so much of the world — and so many people with too much power — would side with the parasite is infinitely painful.

I am worth more than a lump of cells.

My feelings, my ideas, my experiences, my books — the ones I’ve written and the ones I haven’t written yet — are worth so much more than any mere lump of unwanted cells.

Every grown person is worth more than a lump of cells attacking them.

When I have to spend a day feeling rage-fatigue about the world & how Republicans are trying to strip away my basic rights, it makes it much harder to write happy stories about a tabby cat visiting a far away space station with her crew of dogs, mice, octopi, & best friend otter.

You know how when you stare at one color for too long, your eyes run out of the pigment for seeing it? I think it’s called color fatigue.

And I think I have it, but with rage. My body has felt so much rage that it’s run out of the pigment to reliably produce that emotion.

World-burning aside, this week there’s a new Seanan McGuire book, new Reina del Cid album, and new season of Grace & Frankie that have all come out, all of which I’ve been fiercely anticipating. So, I’m just gonna bury myself in those for a while and revel in their wonderfulness.

Brain-Dead Baby Jesuses

“Miley skimmed the article, but it was clearly ridiculous — it claimed that swarms of nano-drones were flying around the country, finding women who had said pro-life things on the internet, and then entering their bodies.”

by Mary E. Lowd

Originally published in Kaleidotrope, July 2019

The snow came down in flurries.  It swarmed outside the window of Miley’s dorm room, brushing softly against the third story window in gusts of wind.  Tiny flakes.  White crystals, pinging against the glass.  Miley had been checking the weather app on her phone, watching the forecast fluctuate back and forth all week — snow on Friday, no wait, now on Saturday, back to Friday, and then only freezing rain.  She’d been praying for snow. Continue reading “Brain-Dead Baby Jesuses”

Yasper and the Afterparty

I don’t know if I have the energy for it, now that I’ve waited until it wouldn’t be outrageous spoilers… but I have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about how The Afterparty turned out.

The Afterparty is a show that I’ve ended up with incredibly mixed feelings about. Like… it was super fun to watch, and I kind of can’t deny that it was really well done… Continue reading “Yasper and the Afterparty”

Highest Aspirations

“If there were a TV show you could have written for… which one would it be?”

Obviously, Deep Space Nine.

When I was in high school and DS9 & Voyager were on the air, they were still open to looking at freelance scripts. My mom told me that, yes, if I wrote one, sent it, and got invited to join the writers room, she’d move down to LA with me so I could. Continue reading “Highest Aspirations”

The Wonder Years and Copyright

I grew up watching The Wonder Years, and some years ago, I wanted to be able to share that show with my spouse.

It wasn’t available. Why? The songs and copyright.

The songs in The Wonder Years — and they had so many good songs; they’re such a part of the texture and meaning of the show — hadn’t been purchased with DVD or streaming rights in mind or somesuch. Because of course, DVDs and streaming didn’t exist when the show was made. Continue reading “The Wonder Years and Copyright”