I can’t tell if the viewer is supposed to see Angel getting himself turned back into a vampire rather than being happy with Buffy as noble… but I can’t see it as anything other than weak, insecure, arrogant, & controlling.
He can’t stand being weaker than her & relying on her.
Angel’s refusal to stay human to make Buffy happy shows that he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him. And he doesn’t love her as a person, someone to talk to, share ideas, and plan with. He loves her as an ideal, a mission, something precious to protect.
But not respect.
To be fair, the first time I saw the episode, “I Will Remember You,” I’d already watched all of Buffy, so I knew how much she could’ve used more happiness in her life, how much the emotional support of a man who wasn’t threatened by her strength would have meant.
Angel’s questions of the oracles were cursory at best. He was looking for a way out & didn’t cross-examine their answers at all.
More than anything else, his choice to turn back into a vampire proves he was never good enough for her & doesn’t love her as deeply as they pretend.
Angel took the easy way out. He preferred being strong and alone to accepting normal, mortal fear and being with Buffy. He went back to what was familiar.
His love for her was weaker than his fear of being human.
But in the end, what makes me most angry about Angel’s choice is that he pretends it’s out of love, while refusing to even listen to Buffy.
He chooses for her. He believes he’ll be a weakness and a distraction, and he won’t even talk to her about it.
It’s infuriating.